Life has given me so much to write about, but I’d rather be living and recovering than writing about it lately. So that’s that.
I started riding nearly semi-seriously again. It feels good to be out, getting back in some sort of shape other than round. Going from slow to fast-ish back to slow is tough. There was a brief point where I was racer fast. That’s addictive. You can go along so fast, wind roaring in your ear, you have a high pain tolerance and can jump and sprint and corner and do all those fun things.
Then you eat worse than you should, and you start looking at your bike like an ex-girlfriend. You remember the good times, but somewhere along the way you went separate ways for one reason or another. I broke up with the bike because I couldn’t dedicate enough time (5-10 hours a week) to ride hard enough to have a level of success while racing. There were other things I wanted to do, plus AB was starting to get into sports. How anyone gets a 3+ hour ride in on the weekends is beyond me, at least with a family situation like mine.
Racing was my motivation. It kept me riding hard, doing intervals, trying to be stronger race after race. Beat someone who beat me before. Keep dropping the lbs. Push a little harder. Finish a little higher. Top half of the field. Then top third. Then top 10. I never sniffed winning, and there’s a lot of reasons for that. But they were reasons I was ok with. Some were me, some were the nature of the sport. These aren’t excuses, it’s just the way it was.
So then I decided to start playing guitar, embracing the musical part of my brain. It was pretty good back in the day (high school). Good enough to get a scholarship. But then I broke up with that girlfriend too. Probably a time thing. I probably didn’t want to starve my whole life too. Well, maybe that’s severe, but there’s a lot more starving musicians than psychologists or computer nerds. On the other hand, there’s a lot of freedom there that you don’t have when your in a cube most of your waking hours.
Anyway, so I’ve been playing. I’ve made some good advances, and starting to see the big picture. Which is really like just pulling a giant textbook off the shelf and getting ready to dive in. There’s so much to learn, but that’s the fun part.
This life is for conquering. Being the best you can be at as much as you can. That’s probably why I hardly watch TV. That’s time you give away. I had a random though today as I was driving in. How much would an 80 year old billionaire give to have just one year in his 20’s back? Probably everything. Yet a lot of us in our 20’s aren’t focused on living a full life. Maybe because we’re scrambling with work, kids, etc. I’d love to be 20 again, and I’m only 37. Youth is wasted on the young indeed.